urine-day: the O.N.A.N.T.A. urine collector
Four times per annum, in these chemically troubled times, the Organization of North American Nations Tennis Association’s Juniors Division sends a young toxicologist with cornsilk hair and a smooth wide button of a nose and a blue O.N.A.N.T.A. blazer to collect urine samples from any student at any accredited tennis academy ranked higher than #64 continentally in his or her age-division.
Context
The governance machinery arrives on a quarterly clock: the O.N.A.N.T.A. Juniors Division ships a blazered toxicologist "four times per annum" to draw urine from every kid ranked over #64 on the continent. Ranking is the trigger for testing — the better your body performs, the more the institution needs your fluids — so the drug-scan apparatus is bolted directly onto the ranking apparatus. To be good enough to be numbered is to be good enough to be sampled; the athletic body's success is exactly what makes it property of the testing regime.