The Orin–Hal phone call — "Due to the large number of…"
Due to the large number of mail the New Orleans Saints® are so fortunate enough to receive from all across the 2nd InterLace Grid, we regrettably say ORIN INCANDENZA #71 can not answer your letter in person, however, on behalf of the New Orleans Saints® “ORIN” has asked me to say Thank-You for your message of support, and best wishes. Inclosed, please accept a special, color 20 × 25 centimeter personally autographed action photo of ORIN INCANDENZA #71, as our way of saying Thank-You and how important you’re letter has been to us. Cordjally, Jethro Bodine Assistant Mailroom Technician
Context
"THE INVARIANT RESPONSE" Avril's letters elicit: a form letter riddled with solecisms — "the large number of mail," "Inclosed," "you're letter," "Cordjally" — sent to his own mother by the son of the Militant Grammarians' co-founder. Every error is a dart aimed at exactly the thing she can't not notice; Hal names the method at p. 1015 (see the supporting cast). All misspellings are the text's own, quoted as written.