Who Lyle is: the sweat-guru on the towel dispenser

pivotal · UNDATED (standing E.T.A. present, ~YDAU)

• When: UNDATED — a standing institution, described in the narrative present (~YDAU); no origin, age given only as "maybe forty"
• What: An oiled guru sits in yogic full lotus in Spandex and tank top on top of the towel dispenser above the shoulder-pull station in the E.T.A. weight room, "about a meter off the rubberized floor"; saucers of muscle make him look "almost crustacean"; his tank top reads TRANSCEND (front) / DEUS PROVIDEBIT (back). He lives off the sweat of others "Literally. The fluids and salts and fatty acids": work up a sweat, let him lick your arms and forehead, and he passes on "some little nugget of fitness-guru wisdom." His tongue is "little and rough but feels good, like a kitty's" — "not like a faggy or sexual thing"; some of the girls let him too; his conditioning/injury advice is "pretty solid." His long-standing maxim: "Let not the weight thou wouldst pull to thyself exceed thine own weight." He is a beloved E.T.A. nut, "harmless as they come," and "supposedly went way back with Dr. Incandenza, the Academy's founder, in the past." NOTE: the very framing is uncanny/mythologizing — his origin, his tolerance, and (event 13) his levitation are left unexplained by narration.