The fatal Mauna Loa snake-can: his mother's death

pivotal · B.S. era, Green's ~fifth Xmas Eve, Waltham MA

• When: UNDATED absolutely; Green's "fifth Xmas Eve," Waltham MA (B.S. era)
• What: Told to give his beloved Mama a Christmas gift, five-year-old Brucie was handed by his novelty-designer Pop a gaily colored can of Polynesian Mauna Loa macadamia nuts (his mother's favorite treat) — really a Blammo gag: a coiled cloth snake on an ejaculatory spring. Brucie over-wrapped it lovingly; on Xmas morning Mrs. Green chose it to open first, and when the snake sprang out she clutched her throat and died of a fatal cardiac while Mr. Green, howling with professional gag-mirth, rated her "performance" on the Acme 1-8 Gag Scale, thinking she was putting them on. Little Bruce sat wide-eyed and silent beneath the swinging chandelier from which the cloth snake hung. This is the germ of Green's lifelong buried Polynesia-and-snake phobia (event 4).