Fully Functional Phil: 'No Thankee' tests uncool

The market confirms the diagnosis: earnestness tests as repellent. The prior icon — Frankie the No-Thankee Hankie — died in the response groups not for being ineffective but for being uncool, its straight earnest register summoning contempt ("a leathery-faced old guy in overalls"). The sincere authority-voice doesn't just fail to persuade; it actively alienates, so it gets shit-canned in favor of the self-mocking peer. Ad-science as accidental sociology of the register war — earnestness scores below minimum, only the ironized survives.