The dead-infant speaker (pp. 378–379)
she drank and drank and believed in her heart she would never stop or swallow the truth, but finally she got to where she had to, she says, swallow it, the responsible truth; how she quickly drank her way to the old two-option welfare-hotel window-ledge and made a blubbering 0200h. phone call, and then so here she is, apologizing for going on so long, trying to tell a truth she hopes someday to swallow, inside. So she can just try and live.
Context
Her Bottom, told in exactly the terms White Flag's essay-voice set up a few pages earlier: "the old two-option welfare-hotel window-ledge" — ledge or phone call, and she made the call. The theme's suicide fork recurring as lived testimony rather than doctrine.