Molly Notkin's party: Joelle's overdose (p. 234)
There’s the pre-suicide’s classic longing: Sit down one second, I want to tell you everything. My name is Joelle van Dyne, Dutch-Irish, and I was reared on family land east of Shiny Prize, Kentucky, the only child of a low-pH chemist and his second wife. I now have no accent except under stress. I am 1.7 meters tall and weigh 48 kilograms. I occupy space and have mass. I breathe in and breathe out. Joelle has never before today been conscious of the sustained volition required to just breathe in and breathe out […]
Context
The pre-suicide's longing to be fully told to someone, anyone — the book's barest self-introduction, delivered to no one. "I occupy space and have mass" echoes Hal's "I am in here"; the sudden consciousness that breathing takes volition is the body already rehearsing its stopping.