Molly Notkin spills her guts (pp. 790–791)
No, that Madame Psychosis’s guilt over the Auteur’s felo de self had nothing to do with the purportedly lethal Infinite Jest (V) or (VI), which as far as Madame Psychosis had determined from the filming itself was little more than an olla podrida of depressive conceits strung together with flashy lensmanship and perspectival novelty. That, no, rather the consuming guilt had been over the condition that the Auteur suspend the ingestion of spirits, which it turned out, M.P. had claimed in deluded hindsight, had been all that was keeping the man’s tether ravelled, the ingestion, such that without it he was unable to withstand the psychic pressures that pushed him over the edge into what Madame Psychosis said she and the Auteur had sometimes referred to as quote ‘self-erasure.’
Context
The deposition's densest passage: the fatal Entertainment judged from its performer's chair as "an olla podrida of depressive conceits" — the lethal cartridge as a stew of depression, not transcendence — and JOI's suicide given the private euphemism he and Joelle shared, "self-erasure," the demapping idiom in first-person-intimate form. Her "deluded hindsight" theory — that the Wild Turkey was all that kept his tether ravelled — is sobriety itself as the thing the depressive can't survive, the same reading Pemulis voices at n.321.