Hal's abrupt-withdrawal dread and the "hole"; fear it will kill the Moms

pivotal · 11-12 Nov YDAU, toward dawn

• When: night of 11-12 Nov YDAU, toward dawn (same confession)
• What: Facing thirty days of forced total abstinence (Calli tea, cranberry juice, vinegar) before a full-spectrum G.C./M.S. urine scan, Hal lays out the stakes and the withdrawal terror. Already ~40 hours dry, he's "bats inside," can't sleep without horror-show dreams, feels "stuck halfway down a chimney." He must justify his seed at the WhataBurger, possibly face Wayne at the Fundraiser, and take the SATs/Boards while in abrupt withdrawal. He fears coming up dirty would cost his even year in 18's, force C.T. to give him the Shoe, publicly wound E.T.A. and stain Himself's memory, and above all "kill" the Moms — not the Hope itself but the secrecy, that he hid it from her. He describes a growing "hole," "a way more than Hal-sized hole," until he'll "fly apart in different directions." Mario's counsel: the confession itself is what he should do ("I think you just did it").