Mikey at the podium: the apology that makes him puke
I’m so mad I all of a sudden try and pray. And I try and pray, driving along and whatnot, and it comes to me I see irregarding of their fucked-up attitude I still need to go back and apologize irregardless, for grabbing my balls at them, cause that’s old fucking behavior. […] The thought of it just about makes me puke, you know what I’m—but I go back […] and I fucking apologize
Context
The scene's moral core, and its sincerity-through-vulgarity peak. Mid-rage, Mikey "all of a sudden" tries to pray, and the AA discipline surfaces unbidden: he sees, "irregarding of their fucked-up attitude," that he still needs to go back and apologize "irregardless," because the ball-grab was "old fucking behavior." And the amends cost him exactly what earnest sincerity costs everyone in these scenes — "The thought of it just about makes me puke" — and he does it anyway, gets the door slammed and the apology rejected, and shares it not as a triumph but because "it scared me." The prayer, the amends, the self-honesty are the full unironic AA program enacted in a voice that never stops swearing. It's the working-cliché thesis in its coarsest form: the Steps don't require you to clean up your language, only your conduct, and the conduct here is genuinely brave.