anxious for a person he does not want
He had never been so anxious for the arrival of a woman he did not want to see.
Context
The whole four-hour vigil is a study in contact hollowed out: he waits with escalating desperation for someone he has no wish to be with, because she is a delivery mechanism and nothing else, and even his one image of intimacy with her is two dry mouths failing to meet while his thoughts coil inward "like a snake on a stick." The person is wanted only as a channel for the substance, and the anticipated closeness is pre-experienced as revulsion. Human presence has been fully converted into logistics.