IJ study archive

addiction as the will to give oneself away — "The original sense of addiction involved…"

quote

The original sense of addiction involved being bound over, dedicated, either legally or spiritually. To devote one's life, plunge in. I had researched this.

Context

Hal excavates the word and finds his own condition inside it: addiction as addictus, bound over and dedicated, the same self-donation whether the master is a religion or a needle. The devastating move is "To games or needles" set side by side — his tennis and his dope named as the same act of plunging-in, a flight-from disguised as a devotion — and the tell that he "researched this," went and looked up the etymology of the thing that has him, which is the addict's helpless scholarship of his own cage.

In anthology